1974
To Our generation, the harry potter series is one of the best known of our time. Anyone who has seen the movies or read the books will know that Severus Snape seems to be a genuinely mean and evil person. As the reader moves towards the end of the series, they are presented with a different view of Snape, one which shows his relationship with Lilly and James Potter. When the audience is shown Snape’s perspective, it allows them to sympathize with him a great deal.
From the first time we meet Snape, he is telling harry about what a lousy person harry is and how he is just like his father. Snape is always looking for ways to penalize and chastise harry by any means possible, oftentimes preferring the most severe punishment he can muster. At first Snape’s treatment of harry seems downright evil and we assume this character will be uniformly evil throughout the series.
In the 5th book in the series, the idea is presented to us that Snape might have some justification for his treatment of harry. It is presented in the form of a memory of Snape’s in which he is bullied and teased by a young James Potter. Later in the 7th book, we see that Snape grew up poor in a broken home with few friends and fewer fellow wizards. When we read and watch a young Snape be bullied and humiliated by James potter, it invokes a certain amount of sympathy in most people which alters the way we look at Snape and his treatment of Harry as a whole.
Snape grew up as a poor kid from a broken home who had to work extremely hard to gain a reputation and respect. Harry on the other hand despite being orphaned, is brought up into a world where he is famous and rich. Harry’s childhood circumstances cause a great deal of resentment from Snape who feels that Harry is spoiled and cocky. From the readers stand point, we can see why Snape might harbor ill feeling towards Harry. When considered from all viewpoints, we gain a sense of sympathy for Snape as an underprivileged child who feels Harry does not deserve the recognition and respect he gets.
Though Severus Snape might seem to be a vile and evil person, when we look at the big picture, we see that his actions may be justifiable by his background and upbringing. When we acknowledge his childhood difficulties, we as human beings are wired to feel a twinge of sympathy and sadness that we otherwise would not feel.
To begin, your opening sentence is very good. It starts off very broad but then immediately connects with Harry Potter. Therefore, it immediately drew me in!
ReplyDeleteMy suggestions all have to do with organization and your thesis. First, make sure your thesis is specific. Right now it is a little vague. You explain that the audience does not see Snape's perspective, but you could add into your thesis what Snape's perspective is or J.K. Rowling's meaning of not immediately showing this perspective. These are just two examples, but by adding something like this I think it will improve your thesis and your overall paper.
My other suggestion is regarding organization. Right now, your paper gets a little confusing. You have good examples, but they seem to be randomly placed throughout your paper. I think you can fix this by also fixing your topic sentences of your paragraphs. If you make each topic sentence one of your main points... then the paragraph and examples will be able to easily follow that idea.
Those are just a few suggestions. However, overall your ideas are very good!
You did a good job on this essay. Your arguments are clear and to the point with examples given. Though I felt you could have used some literary techniques to bring your argument to a more sophisticated level. Referring to the example specifically as details could have even done the trick. Also though I am a harry potter fanatic my self, I'm not sure you'll be able to write your open prompt on the series during the exam. It is viewed as pop culture versus Classical literature, though I think that should be changed.
ReplyDeleteThis has an excellent structure and fairly strong support. Two notes, however: first, PROOFREAD--and second, WHAT? HARRY POTTER? Are you actually trying to kill me?
ReplyDeletesorry about the harry potter thing, i missed the memo. I'll be sure to remember to proofread.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback.